Last week I came across the story of Michelle Thomas, a young blogger and journalist, from north Wales. Michelle shared her story about meeting a man off the social media dating app Tinder and how he reacted to her, on her blog “I Will Pay £1 For Your Story”. Her date sent her a message after the date:
So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God…I really, really am), I can’t say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don’t want that to happen baby. I don’t want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I’m not hard.
Michelle responded with:
I like the way I look. I don’t look like Charlize Theron, and that’s fine – I look like me, and I like myself (I’m sure I’d like Charlize Theron, too if I ever met her. I hear good things).
Read entire blog at http://iwillpayonepoundforyourstory.blogspot.co.uk
I was full of admiration for Michelle after reading her blog and applaud her response. She did not condemn the said man for his preferences or taste in women, after-all we all like who we like, but rather question the need for the man to confront her and belittle her like that.
It did trigger some memories upon me and my experiences growing up as a young man in the 1990s. One such occasion I remember, was at a nightclub in Omagh called The Clock Bar. I was out with friends, enjoying a few drinks, having fun and dancing to some of the music we thought was cool back then.
My friends left to go to the bar to get a round of drinks and I was left to keep the seats at our table. Then a young woman approached me and sat in the seat beside me. I thought my luck was in, but she leant over and whispered in my ear.
She went on to tell me that I should be ashamed of myself for coming out to a place where ‘normal’ place were and that I was ruining everyone’s night in the place, because I was making them all feel uncomfortable and awkward because they could see me.
With that, she stood up and went back to her friends and I was left alone to digest her comments. My friends returned and I told them I was tired and wanted to go home. I jumped into a taxi, arrived home and went to bed in a flood of tears.
Michelle is of course right in saying that we should not judge people who have their own personal views on what looks and personalities they are attracted to, that is what makes us who we are.
As to why someone would take time out of their day to tell someone of their so-called failings and why they do not match up to their standards is what the problem is. There is no telling what affect you could be having on the person. Michelle was able to brush it off and respond perfectly and politely. I on the other hand took it to heart and in some respects, still carry it around with me.
What about you? Have you met someone on a night out or from online dating? Where they respectable towards you or openly judged you? My Way Access wants to hear your stories.
Michelle blog and response was great and very inspirational but all of us are not able to brush if off as you said Dermot. But if I can say say the person that should not have been in the nightclub was that person that spoke to you Dermot not you.
Thank you for your kind comment Jude. As an adult now, looking back, I can put it behind me. It did hurt a lot at the time and for a long time after. I just hope that she has learnt from the experience too and regretted her comments.
“it’s cover”??? It is cover?
It’s cover, as the cover of the book.